MY FIRST ON-SITE PROJECT ATTEMPT OF 2021 … SUCKED OLD MILL CREEK, DARTMOUTH (DEVON) If you remember last September, I took a walk to Old Mill Creek with my friend (a really cool maritime archaeologist) who was working down there on all the remains of old boats. I fell in love with the area and decided to do a project based on this gorgeous location. (more about that here) I’ve been wanting to go back ever since, it’s so peaceful down there, and so beautiful, but every plan made so far fell through. Well I got the chance to go back again last Friday! My friend needed to finish up some things for work & needed someone in a sort of volunteer-capacity, to lend a hand and keep an eye on the dog. I’ve been wanting to do on-site cyanotypes for months now, so with the weather improved, I went for it! I made up a new batch of cyanotype sensitizer (possibly part of the problem) and coated 8 A4 sheets and 10 A5 sheets of paper. I’d been watching a few videos on wet cyanotypes recently and it seemed to be “just put wet things on it” so I thought it’d be pretty easy to do by the river, with some seaweed. I have developed a mild obsession with seaweed lately. I did not however expect to be grabbing handfuls of it to haul off an old wreck – but even that was surprisingly fun and cathartic. So, I made a few cyanotypes and well, I fucked up. BUT THAT’S OKAY. They are all completely under exposed, which I explain in the video below so I won’t go into it too much, but hindsight is a beautiful thing eh? So I wrecked the experiments; but they were exactly that – EXPERIMENTS – this year is still absolutely about learning for me, trying, playing, failing, and adapting. I had an absolutely lovely day, snuck in a spot of journaling, project planning, and took some photos that I can use later. I had a good laugh, some serious puppy cuddles and got my dose of fresh air and sunshine. I caught most of the day on a very low-res time-lapse. Bellow are some videos I made the next day – I wanted to shoot some chat on the day, but time went so quickly, and I was a little camera shy in front of my friend. (SWEARING WARNING FOR LITTLE EARS) PREVIOUS ON-SITE CYANOTYPE SESSIONS BATU BOLONG BEACH, BALI – AUGUST 2018 This sounds far more glorious than the works themselves. Hilariously, less hot (4 whole degrees) than the Surrey walk & make a year later, and I made the mistake of attempting to wash these in the sea to develop them on-site – the sea was so rough and choppy that I just got soaked, and the paper suffered at the sea’s strength. I thought there’d be more things to pick up and use to make shadows, but the beach cleaners had done such a good job!! Similar story with the gardener at the villa – I kept trying to collect up any fallen flowers and leaves (because I wasn’t going to be a dick and pick them) but he was always so on it with his broom! I still have a few of the flowers I picked up off the driveway, drunk at 3am, and pressed in the pages of books there. — also for the larger of these, I disappeared off to the group of Aussie girls in front to do some first aid on a cut, so I abandoned this piece for quite a while out in the sun, and ended up processing it back at the villa. This isn’t the kind of work I’d normally show, because I’m not very impressed with the results, but it’s all part of the journey isn’t it!? BUSHY PARK, SURREY – AUGUST 2019 I actually did try this a couple of times back up in Surrey, and they all wrecked too…!? maybe I need to double up my light proof bags or, if possible, complete a test strip to find the optimum exposure time. It was a wonderfully blazing hot day in the Royal Park, quiet and bright, armed with factor 50 & podcasts, I set off for a long old walk (remember life before covid!?) making cyanotypes along the way and stopping for a serious sugar rush somewhere in the middle. ONWARDS AND UPWARDS! I’m already plotting my next walking adventure – and fantasising about the scope of things that could come out of something so simple as a walk. I’d love to make a series of small art-books as a response to specific walks, perhaps start producing a Zine, or making more creative videos… with the weather picking up, the excitement is real.

During my second year at uni, I started buying packs of old wedding negatives on eBay for a project where I was focusing on marriage (I have no idea why…). Essentially I needed photos of weddings, and this seemed like the best way to go about finding them, rather than asking to use family archives - and apparently, a lot of people seemed to be selling packs of wedding negatives, like that’s a normal thing. I think the two main packs I used must have come from a retired photographer’s extensive archive, flogged without a second thought by whoever’s hands they eventually fell into. I ended up hating the project (this happened a lot at uni), but there were a few of the experiments made in the process which I still like, and I enjoyed manipulating the negatives on my lightbox to create a manual photoshop session. Anyway, I held on to the negatives, knowing they’d be useful one day but also feeling a need to look after them and feeling some responsibility for their preservation. It wasn’t for a few years that I started to think; these are not my memories. I suddenly felt uncomfortable owning these seemingly meaningless artefacts, posting pictures of them on Instagram… I even had a sort of weird fake wedding album now in my projects archive (part of the ‘Image & Page’ uni project). It feels like a strange sort of voyeurism; becoming an uninvited guest at such an intimate event. And yet, somehow, in taking in these little packs of someone else’s memories, perhaps I am safeguarding that moment. Linked to my research into Jo Spence and her belief of an afterlife for the individual existing for so long as there are people who still remember them. [more on Spence]. I keep them in with my own negatives, built up over the years, and those saved from old family photo packs, as well as buying more from eBay. Later, when I started working with cyanotypes, I looked to these old packs again to practice exposing 120mm film - but taking a break from my own negatives (all nudes or portraits). For a while, I wondered if I should look into their lives, to see if there was any record of them online - all I knew was their married couple names (i.e. Mr & Mrs X), for some there may be a photo of the church name to reveal a location but no dates, no first names. They could be anywhere now. Were they still married? How many children did they have? … are they even alive still!? I've imagined my own narratives for the nameless characters before me, created break ups, glow-ups, and visual love letters. I have no intention of allowing this train of thought to stop me using these negatives as a tool or subject, as the whole idea still fascinates me. Also, for the fact that they are just jolly useful, rather beautiful and that little bit mysterious and potentially bordering on the macabre. I won’t touch on the debate of ownership, as I’m still figuring that one out. I’m keeping this one short, because I know I’ll be coming back to it soon… THESE ARE NOT MY MEMORIES, BUT THIS IS MY ARTWORK #modernart #technique

FEIST FRIDAY FANCYDRESS FILM NIGHTS #FFFDFN For those who weren’t following my personal Instagram last summer, let me introduce you to a little something that became known as ‘Dress Up Fridays’. IDEA: I forced my parents to dress up with me, to match our Friday night movie (x12) DETAILS: this was meant to be a simple distraction during the first UK national lockdown, something to look forward to during the week RULES: we had to all agree on a film (often on the Friday) have to prepare our outfits ON THE DAY – no prior prep allowed no money must be spent on the costume; items must all be found in or made from things in the house costumes must be worn for the duration of the film (but Lester almost never did) I had the idea when National Theatre and Andrew Lloyd Webber started streaming live performances during the lockdown, none of us really knowing how long it would go on for. It started with The Shows Must Go On streaming Phantom, a family favourite, and I somehow managed to convince my parents to dress up with me. They’d said they were really busy so couldn’t think about a costume until the last minute (a very Feist thing to do anyway) and so that was that decided. After Phantom, we quickly expanded to other films, though we did mainly do musicals for the duration. When I was younger, we used to put on these themed New Year’s Eve parties with some family friends, taking it in turn to host, and having fancydress and all the food, entertainment etc all tied in to the theme… I used to LOVE these, and often thought if there was any way to bring these back – now was our time! Even though it was just the three of us this time round, I was so fucking excited! Years of saving random bits of fabric, costumes, makeup – finally a reason! My poor brother, who very cleverly forgot to join in the excitement, looked on in horror at our costumes when dinner was dished up. Every week nervously awaiting an explanation as to what we were meant to be. And everyone joked that it was just an excuse to take more selfies and put my tits on Instagram… your point? FRIDAYS: PHANTOM: The Phantom of the Opera (Stage Version) = the one where Lester looked more like Hugh Hefner MOULIN ROUGE: (Film) = the one where Pea smashed it as Toulouse-Lautrec GREEK NIGHT: Mamma Mia (Film) & My Big Fat Greek Wedding = the one where Lester drew on his butt BALTI TOWERS*: Bride and Prejudice (Bollywood Film) + curry = the one with the karma sutra DIE HARD: the original film + ‘Yippee Cayenne Mother-Clucker’ burgers = the one where Pea wore Ikea storage GREASE: the movie = the one you asked us to do CALAMITY JANE: the Doris Day classic (film) = the one where Peta ran down the street dressed as a horse for a boomerang AUSTEN TOWERS: Emma (the new film) + anything and everything Jane Austen = the one where I gobbled a kebab in regency wear SWEENEY TODD: (the film) = the one where I stupidly licked a really sharp knife for the love of TikTok EUROVISION: on the day the Film premiered, but we dressed as real-life people = the one Lester finally got to wear a ballgown HAMILTON: (Stage Version) the day it was released on Disney+ (so mum & dad had no idea what it was about) = the one where we all absolutely smashed it CATS: (2019 Film) = the one where we remembered none of us like Cats… *if you’re wondering about the ‘Towers’ reference, our house is called Melbourne Tower – some just call it “Towers”… but also it’s an ex-hotel in Torquay – linked forever to the infamous sitcom Fawlty Towers. HIT PLAY: HIGHLIGHTS: Mum as Henri de Toulouse-Lautrec – I’m not sure how PC it was, but I’m not sure I maintained a straight face while looking at her the whole night! (a lot of snorting) Making my own corset from scratch in an afternoon from an Amazon box, some tape & some old fabric Dad as Conchita Wurst – he’d even made his own trophy & never broke character! (look closely!) TITS If you enjoyed reading about this excursion, look out for a future blog about our Friday activities for the second UK national lockdown: FLIP THE TOWERS the Feist’s answer to Changing Rooms, where we decorated a room or area each weekend (x4). In the mean time, watch my saved Flip The Towers story highlights on Instagram here BUT MAKE IT ARTSY Today is my birthday 🎂 which I’m not overly thrilled about… so tonight as something to look forward to, I am resurrecting the dress-up, but this time with a TWIST. (no, no, that’s not an Oliver clue… no more please) Ever since my parents first took me to the Royal Academy of Art’s Summer Exhibition in 2007, I’ve tried to go every year and gaze in awe at all the artworks on display. I wasn’t able to attend in 2020, and so I decided to watch a virtual tour tonight with my lovely parents** in costume as either famous artists or artworks! I have no idea what to dress as yet, I feel I probably wouldn’t do Grayson Perry justice… but my mum might! **Adam has promised to ‘attend’ as Banksy…

when I started this project, I refused to use the word valentine; so for the first day or so, it was simply the ‘mid-February project’ My reluctance to bind myself to the valentine hype, was partially from my current bah-humbug-to-love attitude and partially that I wanted to create something more permanent, not a card or a throwaway item that ties itself to one day and not the other 364, I don’t want my pieces to live in a drawer, dusty box or on the shelf. I really resisted the classic man and woman kissing cliché… I wasn’t sure I wanted to do a work featuring a couple at all, but I knew I needed to push myself to celebrate my instinctive representation of that love. All the while wanting to create an image of a woman standing happily alone, doing things her way. So I decided that I would create two designs: one from the part of me that still believes in romantic love, and one from the part that now understands it’s more important to love yourself first. Thus a limited edition of 10 prints for both the VALENTINE: “EMBRACE” and the GALENTINE: “BUY YOUR OWN FLOWERS” was born. It took me a couple of days to finalise the designs, with the advice of my wonderful sisters and mumma before sending the files off to be printed! Read more below for the process… PROCESS: I started looking through soppy kissing photos on pexels, rolling my eyes and kidding myself that I was never one of these sickeningly in-love people (ha!). I downloaded a broad range of photos of couples, I knew I wanted to sketch a bit but wasn’t sure if I’d keep the images – I obviously couldn’t use any of my own photos for this project!! (inappropriate) I had a lot of fun sketching, but didn’t find it easy – I worked and reworked, trying to capture the illusion of a kiss in as few lines as possible. Eventually settling on a combination of many sketches of the same kiss, merging them together. I filmed the process and will post one day… Obsessively using circles in my art, I didn’t even question it, the circle was there before I’d even thought about it – but, the circle needed something in it! I wanted to use one of my photographs as I’d chosen to use only the line sketch of the kiss, and didn’t want this to just be a line drawing (nothing against them, I love them… but that’s not what I do). So I searched my archives for some simple textures which would look great in black and white; another instinctive decision. I almost sided with a ceiling shot from a london pub* (sat on the floor attending a Sofar Sounds gig) which had lovely circles and was pretty ambiguous, but then I tried the top right corner of my most recent painting which I’d instagramed and it was perfect! *nothing says love like a pub ceiling… Four hours into editing photos of flowers that I found searching through my old photos and feeling like it just wasn’t working, I thought to myself, why on earth am I not BUYING MY OWN F+CKING FLOWERS!?! At this point, I had actually already (unofficially) settled on the title “Buy your own flowers” and here I was, scrapping the barrel with something in-authentic and uninspiring. Not only that, they were photographs of funeral flowers – could you get any more depressing?! – that I had been asked to photograph, rather than wanted to. SO, off I marched to my local shop (mask & gel) to purchase my bouquet, ready to photograph and then enjoy! Integrity intact and passion back on track. I continued with my first sketch, which I had grown fond of, but was conscious that I hadn’t tried any others…I played around with different photos in the background but eventually selected this unused shot from my Old Mill Creek walk, where I was really happy – I’d wandered off with my camera soaking in the sun’s rays and exploring the foreshore – I thought this was quite an apt image for this piece. With the crop transforming it into quite a subtle abstract, with light bleeds for texture and the blurred woodland sat moodily in the corner… perfect. My family eventually voted against my beloved sketch, which shows a woman seeming to choke on flowers… my bad. My mum also was adamant that it actually looked like a frog, thanks mum. I ordered one of these prints for myself, because if a frog choking on a bouquet of flowers isn’t art then what is!? 🐸💐 ➡ Going back to all my saved images (from pexels), I was drawn to the photo of a woman hugging flowers – I knew I would likely be able to use most of my flower arrangement from the frog piece on this if I added to it and manipulated it into the woman’s arms. I didn’t want to overthink things, so I kept it very simple. VOTED AGAINST…. some quick videos on the project… what happened to pt2? life happened. Seriously though, while out on my walk I managed to rip the skin off the tips of two fingers on my right hand * so fine detail gold-leafing met a little delay & challenge… and I honestly just couldn’t be bothered to edit pt2 with the giant padded plasters on. by the time I was finished, I was too excited to show pt3 and just glossed over the making-of – well, who doesn’t like a bit of mystery!? *(HANDS ARE QUITE IMPORTANT TO AN ARTIST!) p.s I think I look adorable in this video ➔ note to self: make more videos RESULTS: SHOP: 2 designs available as A4, printed on a smooth, bright white, 240gsm stock poster paper hand embellished with paint & gold leaf detailing GALENTINE: BUY YOUR OWN FLOWERS A celebration of & gratitude for: flowers, freedom & females (wxmen) VALENTINE: EMBRACE A celebration of embraces; after a year where they became so much more important or suddenly absent… Pick your preferred design & then which embellished version you like best! There are only 10 of each design and as they are individually hand decorated – you will be picking the exact print you will receive – no duplicates, no surprises! (make sure you select the right one!) Each print is numbered and signed. ⬑BUY MEEEEE

I COMPLETED MY FIRST COMMISSION! In January, I was asked to create a special cyanotype commission for a very special customer. I had 20 days to create something magical; to consult, plan, test, create, embellish, wrap & post this very important piece of paper, to ensure it was in his hands ready to surprise his fiancé on their 10 year anniversary. SMASHED IT! …with a brand new UV light-box set up and my printer on the blink, it took a LOT of testing! A few meltdowns later, I produced something I was almost happy with and knew they’d eventually love. So I reworked, added, and eventually downed tools and shouted “YES!” - it was ready to post off. ⬅ Meet my darling friends Jess & Chris - a beautiful young couple who have been together for ten years now! I’ve had the privilege of knowing them for seven years; I lived with Jess at uni and we bonded over musicals, Jane Austen and cheap rosé. Chris came to stay sometimes and turned out to be just as lovely as Jess - how could you not love this couple!? Like many other young couples, we were all gutted when they had to postpone their wedding last summer, so I knew I had to make this artwork extra extra special! I kept Chris informed throughout the process with updates and photos of the progress, suggestions and any set backs. He had mentioned that secretly it was also a gift for him, so when I was finished I let him know that I wasn’t sending a finished photo - that I would package it up so that when Jess opened it, they would see it for the first time together. THE BRIEF: Something blue, to potentially feature some of their favourite things, which includes but is not limited to: Pulp fiction, moulin rouge, star wars, Formula 1, Corfu, Yellowstone, Bournemouth, Five Finger Death Punch, Pink Floyd, Turk (pet tortoise), 2011 started dating, 2017 engaged. Luckily he was able to provide me with this FABULOUS photo from their friends’ wedding, which made it a lot easier to produce a higher quality A3 scale piece. Instantly I made visual comparisons between this photo and one of the iconic shots of Satine and Christian from Moulin Rouge. So it was decided, Jess OBVIOUSLY needed Satine’s headpiece! I knew I couldn’t touch her shawl - Jess is a tailor, as well as an avid knitter and lover of all things fabric, vintage and craft… she made this shawl herself and I remember how proud she was of it - this needed to remain totally unadulterated, though inevitably, it ended up with a little bit of gold detailing. THE DIGITAL RESULT (NEGATIVE) ➡ Having spent a lot more time painting recently, I got the courage to make this work in a more painterly style compared to my usual cyanotypes - this involved applying several layers of the cyanotype sensitiser and reprocessing the image to produce this more hand-painted style (mostly on Chris’ sleeve & the mountains). I also decided to use liquid gold leaf on this work instead of sheets, as I wanted to apply the gold responsively as a gradual process, rather than when using leaf painting the invisible gilding paste in predetermined areas and then adding the sheets to that. THE FINAL PIECE ➡ PERSONAL DETAILS: Satine’s headpiece cut from a Moulin Rouge movie still and adapted to fit Jess. I reworked the nod to Pink Floyd to make it a tad more subtle, by slimming the triangle and simplifying the rays on the right. (inspired of course, by their The Dark Side of the Moon album cover) Jess’ engagement ring is just visible behind Chris’ back and I was really hoping this would come through nicely on the cyanotype so that I could add some gold to it. The artwork is ‘signed off’ with MMXI - for 2011, the year they started dating. The scene in the background is Yellowstone National Park (their favourite holiday) - obviously, having never been there myself, I called upon the internet fairies and found this image on a site called Pexels. This is a great site where photographers can share their images for use personally and commercially, all for free*. INSPIRATION / VISUALS: BIGGEST REGRET: ⬅ I couldn’t quite figure out how to fit this little guy in!! Perhaps if I did it again, I’d have worked the texture of his shell into the mountains somehow… so here’s TURK ❤ you can even follow him on Instagram if you like perhaps I just figured out my wedding gift… VIDEO: here’s a quick Tiktok of my meltdowns & triumphs… and a lot of tests ➡ Now I think I’m ready, I’ve learnt what I needed to learn (for now; there’s always more) SO COME AT ME WITH YOUR COMMISSION REQUESTS! ⬅ click here and let’s have a chat

In 1992, I came into the world; just as Jo Spence was leaving. It wasn’t until 2014 that I discovered Jo Spence and f-u-u-u-c-k-m-e, what a phenomenal influence she had on my life, my attitude to myself, to death, to memory, to using other people’s memories*. If I had seen her “prettier” projects first, I may have overlooked them. If I was not suffering my own identity crisis, I may have judged her, dismissed her. But I found Jo exactly when I needed to. I read her words, I cried. I read some more, I made promises to myself… and while I didn’t know it at the time, I started some motions which would eventually change my life. Through my research into Spence while I was at uni, I learnt more about Art Therapy as a personal exercise as well as a potential career. I learnt to express honestly, regardless of others, to tell my story, my experience and my pain. I learnt to use art and photography as a tool to work through anxieties and issues I was facing, and to better communicate my feelings when words alone were failing me. She also taught me to value my body, to own my body, and to appreciate it as it was. Of course I will remember Jo Spence; how could I forget? Spence notably wrote about beliefs prevalent in Mexican culture (originally Aztec), regarding death and the afterlife – that when we die, we live on in the afterlife for as long as we are remembered by the living. Spence adopted this belief and began treating her work as a legacy to leave behind; a way to live on, having faced death so This is a really eye-opening version of the afterlife for people who don’t, or can’t, believe in the versions we were taught in western schools. If you want a really lovely demonstration of this belief, try watching the films Book of Life and Coco (… because sometimes the best lessons are hidden inside cartoons & musicals). Another important idea Spence allowed me to embrace is Memento Mori (remember you must die), harnessing the morbid themes of death and disease as a true and honest reflection of life and it’s necessities. We celebrate death as a part of life. We find the beauty in this certainty of death; and understand that in however strange a way, it unites us all. Spence’s projects are raw, and personal. There is a wealth of vulnerability and depth of extreme honesty, while I envy her bravery I fear her circumstance. I know full well that I cannot sum her, or her work up in a blog post, but I would like to write more about her one day; she would appreciate that, keeping her memory alive. It is wonderful to see artists still noting her influence, putting on joint exhibitions, and being visibly influenced by her efforts, ethics and work. "when you’re as badly damaged as I am, you just want nice things around you" jo, I will remember you More info on Jo Spence: www.tate.org.uk www.richardsaltoun.com www.britishphotography.org Her Books: The Final Project Putting Myself in the Picture Fairy Tales and Photography, or, another look at Cinderella Cultural Sniping – the art of transgression Putting Myself In The Picture A Political, Personal And Photographic Autobiography Book in the life of . . . Jo Spence *Read more about the still & moving image project and my mixed feelings on “these are not my memories” (coming soon) Here’s my dissertation and some further rambling on Spence…. I COULD(N’T) HAVE SAID IT BETTER MYSELF Some of my work from my final year project influenced by Spence, more here: Grad profile Source.com #arthistory #arttherapy #JoSpence

It started with an Instagram post… I saw an announcement by Alternative Photography about an upcoming art challenge for World Cyanotype Day 2020 and I decided that I HAD to be a part of it! I downloaded all the info and rules - I thought to myself “gosh, no nudity!? … what will I do!?” as all my recent works had in some way incorporated nudity. I thought it would be a fun challenge, and a nice prompt to work from. The theme was “INTERCONNECTED”, which led me to think about ties/bonds, such as family, relationships and love - and even the ones that last forever, whether you like it or not… I was looking through my recent photographs, and stumbled across one I had taken (with my phone) of a giant daisy in someone’s garden on a rainy local walk. At the time when I’d posted this to my Insta story, my old housemate had said she loved it so much that she wanted it as her phone background - so if it was good enough for Lara, it was good enough for this online exhibition! “Oh, to be rid of you” came about through a series of digital scribblings and doodles over the daisy photo, to explore this sense of binds that even when they appear to be broken are never truly gone. A sense of them still encircling your growth, surrounding you as you flourish… not so much to hold you back, but enough to feel restricting. The larger “Oh” came naturally with the flow of the other patterns, with the “to be rid of you” also feeling instinctive but you may notice this is a lot smaller, just as the small voice we use in our uncertainty. I was honestly so proud of myself, for turning around a complete design and cyanotype final piece within a 48hour period. Also for finally entering a competition like show, with the freedom to create and a deadline to make sure I finished quickly. I celebrated with several large G&Ts and vowed to make it happen more often! See the full gallery of submissions here (alternativephotography) Shop this piece, and more from the series below:

Anyone who’s written a dissertation will know, you are not entitled to an opinion. It’s been 5 years since I scrambled together a dissertation in a week for my Ba(Hons) Photography degree at Arts University Bournemouth. Having read it back, I want to rewrite it. Within these painful, correctly-spaced pages; your only voice is as narrator, fact giver, conveying other people’s stories and opinions, quoting other people’s thoughts (generally middle-age white men) with no option to tell your own. In hindsight, the irony of this is not lost on me, especially as my essay was about trying to find your voice through art. They even told us to call it a ‘big essay’ so that the word ‘dissertation’ didn’t overwhelm us. I didn’t write about all the things I was passionate about, I changed my title/topic a week before the deadline, I wrote about an artist I had zero interest in even researching well, just because my tutors (middle-age white men) said I needed to, this did however allow me to use the word ‘fellatio’ in a semi-relevant context within a formal document, which I thought might be a fun party fact later on. Also, ‘university Liberty’ was even worse at concentrating, time-keeping and self-belief than this almost-30 version; there wasn’t enough chocolate in the world to bribe me into concentrating! I was far more focused on my social life, and my fear of success, and to be honest I don’t think I even read it the whole way through until recently. I wonder what I might say now, outside the realms of word counts and Harvard referencing, in a world where I not only have my own voice (made louder by my artworks) but the right to bloody well use it… and maybe that is this world, my world. But for now, here she is, the most valuable essay of my life thus far (I think this is the final version…) my 2015 dissertation, will add the remaining ref photos soon. I’m currently penning a love-note style essay to Jo Spence, which I’ll post as soon as I’m done gushing and re-remembering that I need to get on and MAKE things to shout about. Photography: Seeking a voice through the self-portrait ‘We live in a culture which flourishes on the inculcation of inadequacy and shame’ (Spence, 1986. p.140). Here we will examine the self-portrait as an empowering voice for women, through both process and publication, to act against traditions of shamming women, especially in the context of nude imagery. Exploring in particular, the photographic works of Jo Spence, alongside a comparative examination of the works of Francesca Woodman, Carolee Schneemann and India Lawton. The photographic self-portrait dates back to the experiments by Robert Cornelius in 1839, though often debated, his is noted as the first fixed photograph self-portrait: long before the selfie was a common term and at a time when photography had some sort of mystical aura of fact. Since then, the concept of photographing one’s self has become not only far easier, but embraced by the art world in almost the same way the painted self-portrait has been for centuries. Photographic forms, as with painted self-portraits, have adapted into an expressive outlet – an individual’s own interpretation of themselves or how they would like to outwardly convey themselves. The following will explore the photographic self-portrait as a platform to seek a voice, looking at the works of the aforementioned photographers and their portrayal of identity, disease, therapy, and feminism. In the grand scheme of photographic history ranging in excess of 200 years, Spence and Woodman appear relatively closely on the timeline, however, they coincide with a period of drastic growth and experimentation across the discipline. With Woodman working from the early 1970s up to her death in 1981, and Spence creating images from the 1970s until her death in 1992 (the latter works of which will be focussed on throughout this discussion). Both women received much of their acclaim and recognition after their unfortunate deaths. While vastly different in aesthetics, both photographers tackle themes of identity, memory, the self and performance in their works, with Spence’s being very clear and simply shot, while Woodman adopts blurred long exposures. Both women are very experimental within their practice, and both appear nude at their own direction of the camera. Jo Spence was a photographer, phototherapist and art-therapist working from the 1970s. Terry Dennett (2001) explains that Spence was an established photographer known for her revealing self-explorations and cultural activism, dealing often with the issues of class, sex and family. Following her diagnosis of breast cancer in the early 1980s Spence sought to rebel against the harsh treatment on offer from the National Health Service at the time, and opted instead to ‘hand make her cancer survival and camera therapy program’ (Dennett, 2001); this series of events greatly influenced Spence’s later projects, with therapy, death and disease beginning to dominate the themes in her photographs. Scott (2003) explains that Jo Spence used self-portraiture as a means of self-discovery, and in taking control of the camera she was able to create an empowering investigation into her own situation, class, status and sex, and in doing so, further convey these ideas to a wider audience that she hoped to connect with. As a feminist who felt that she did not match the male notion of femininity, in these years Spence worked to produce projects that can be seen as empowering, through reclaiming herself and taking back her power as a female. Similar to this empowerment, through her feminist beliefs she also strove to be heard not just as a victim of disease, but almost as a soldier fighting against it ‘Spence’s insightful social criticism and search for survival as a dignified person provide us with power’ (Hiroko, 2001). Yet, this raises the question of who does Hiroko’s ‘us’ refer to – the general public, or solely to others who are suffering with diseases too. Perhaps Hiroko is alluding to power in the sense of, like Lawton’s Scars, seizing power over our own situations and histories through the cues offered to us by the photographer’s own bravery. A literal voice was found for Spence too, through the reviewing of photographs she had previously taken throughout her hospital visits and daily routine; she found that “interrogating the photos seemed to be as revealing as talking to a therapist” (Dennett. 2001). The photographs began to act as triggers for conversation and vocal outlet. This shows that even though the audience of these photographs was her alone, the process of reviewing, re-living and discussing gave her a voice and aided her; lifting her from a dark depression without the costly fees of a professional therapy session. Her methods could be termed a therapy of convenience; adopting the medium of photography which was her career, and a subject that was herself, this meant that the whole process was carried out autonomously or with the help of friends or collaborators, thus avoiding fees and judgement from authority and allowing her to work through her issues and create these photographs under her own control. In the depths of her depression upon receiving her second cancer diagnosis, Spence sought comfort in researching faiths that celebrate death as a part of life, such as Ancient Egyptian traditions and the Mexican Day of the Dead. It is not hard to comprehend that in a time of desperation such as hers, this was her response. This new outlook provided much foundation for Spence’s later photographic experiments in The Final Project, where she can be seen adopting the visuals of these cultures, such as skulls, and skeletons. She found one particularly appealing belief, wherein an individual lives on through others continuing to speak their name, that they are only ever truly dead when they are no longer thought of and spoken about. This view is supported by one of Spence’s collected quotes (published in The Final Project, 2013), in which George Eliot says that ‘Our dead are never dead to us, until we have forgotten them’, Spence wanted to be remembered – to be spoken about, to achieve a voice through others discussing her work. One may even suppose that through writing this, it is a small contribution to Jo Spence’s dying wishes. In this untitled image (fig.1), featured in her The Final Project book, Spence experiments with the rituals of Egyptian burial and symbolism, adding a pill bottle and photograph of herself as a child. With Ancient Egyptian beliefs relying heavily on a promise of an afterlife and elaborate celebrations of deaths, the imagery is rich and desirable. Though the resulting image may be seen as rather humorous, this was probably not the intention; it is an exploration of death. Spence enacted several pre-visualisations of her own death towards the end of her life, including staging a rehearsal of her funeral so that she could experience it while she was still alive. Epps (2013) proposes that at the time within Western cultures, there was almost a fight to shock the audience when addressing topics involving death or ideas of mortality, taking away the comfortable and socially appropriate sentiment. Contrary to this Spence disregarded the horrific and gruesome to remain therapeutic creating instead visuals that both conveyed the beauty and the inevitability of death. Epps suggests that with regard to the lasting message within these works, of Spence’s struggles with self-representation ‘Spence is not naïve enough to assume that by creating The Final Project she has the final word’ (Epps, 2013. p84) on how she will be remembered after she is gone. But in itself, the publication of The Final Project was posthumous and in this sense alone, she did at least have an influence on who would create the final word within that. Relative to the need for image-makers to shock, there is a general inclination as a viewer to avoid looking at shocking images of sickness and death, especially as in relation to disease and death there is a habit of artists to focus heavily on the infected or deformed aspect of the sick individual, distancing it away from the body as a whole, to create a statement. Spence however, wanted to be observed as a whole, as a person, she wished that viewers would ‘look at her and recognise her humanity’ and not be reduced to the area of the breast wherein her sickness seemed to dominate her (Scott, 2003. P30). Her aim it seems was not to make a brutal statement about death but to work through her feelings towards her own mortality. Susan Sontag argues that all photos ‘are a “memento mori”. To take a photograph is to participate in another person’s (or thing’s) mortality, vulnerability, mutability’ (Sontag 1979, cited in Epps, 2013). Memento mori (remember to die) reminds us to be aware of our own mortality, in that all things must die. In this sense, Spence allows her collaborators to assist her in capturing her own fading mortality and increasing vulnerability; to serve as a lasting reminder of what she was at that particular time, before she passed away. The idea of the female nude in the context of the self-portrait can be seen as controversial throughout the history of photography, and even still today, in such a technology fuelled, Snapchat/sexting world, where female nudes are more readily available than ever and the line between art and pornography continues to blur. On the other hand, the nude form allows for a timeless quality within the photographic portrait, while clothing can pin an individual to a certain period in history, which can be misleading; this is particularly evident in Woodman’s works, as she is often displaying herself in old-fashioned clothing for the time. The nude however, allows the subject fluidity in time, Woodman’s nude photographic works could have been made at any point in the last fifty years – with, in most cases, nothing in the background or subject to date the image. Scott (2003) explains how through a female’s use of self-portraiture they may be accused of vanity, if the viewer develops resentment for the photographer. The nude forces the viewer to not only question the photograph, to ask themselves why the artist is naked, and why should they look at it or care what they have to say, but through this begin to question one’s self (wherein the resentment may begin to occur). Yet through these self-exploratory works a photographer’s own body may become ‘a body politic – a single form representing the concerns and fears of thousands’ a relatable image for those who need something or someone to relate to. Someone that was brave enough to address the issues that others shy away from; in the context of Jo Spence, she discusses the issues of the ‘fears she had to face when facing herself’ (Scott. 2003. p.31) in delving into her own trauma through the photographic outlet and not only viewing it herself, but deciding to broadcast it. With regards to her wish to share her work, within her writings in Putting Myself In The Picture, Jo Spence (1986, p.140) elaborates on her thoughts and plans for making her very personal therapy work public: I certainly needed to be counselled or in therapy before I released anything into the public world. I also needed to have separated from the work so it no longer has any emotional charge for me when people are critical of it. She wanted to share the works, but feared that feedback on it may affect her; possibly suggesting that though she desperately wanted to voice herself, she felt she needed to be selective of when she thought that voice was ready to be heard. Spence’s portraits are arguably far from sexual; her approach is almost factual, descriptive and aesthetically honest. Indeed, within her writings of Putting Myself in the Picture she explains that the breasts are constantly represented in the media and emphasised as ‘our most important asset’ (1986) and that we should learn to address the rest of our bodies not just the dominant portrayal of breasts and typical feminine figures, yet she uses them as a necessary tool to convey her trouble, and show her fight for possession. In the photograph Property of Jo Spence? (fig.2) the viewer is confronted by a question from the author/photographer, rhetorical or otherwise, which forces one to consider the plight of the subject in the battle for ownership over her own body. While she has a chance to voice her vulnerability in an empowering way, the viewer has the chance to empathise with her as photographer and subject seeking a voice and support at such a time. When compared to the even earlier works by Carolee Schneemann, particularly the artfilm Fuses in 1967, both Woodman and Spence’s photographs are placed in a different context – perhaps, the context they should be seen in, as not necessarily innocent portrayals of the naked female form, but as contextualised and well voiced comments. MacDonald (2007) explains that Schneemann’s works act as erotic self-portraiture, the defining elements of which include breaking from the governance of the ‘external, potentially misogynistic eye’ and allowing the female body to be shown as ‘a site of pleasure and desire – as something to be celebrated, not merely consumed’ which, arguably, is much on a par with the aims of Spence and Woodman through their nude self-portraits. Yet while Woodman’s works may allude to the erotic and the phallic, there does not seem to be any blatant or controversial screams of sex within the images – this does not appear to be a strong message within her work; whereas Schneemann was strongly criticised for actually displaying herself performing fellatio (and other sexual acts) in her self-portrait style film, with her voice being one of sexual freedom – a very different battle on the side of feminism. In terms of feminist motives, Schneemann (1997, cited in MacDonald, 2007) felt driven to use herself as the focus of her work, feeling that as a woman she was ‘permitted to be an image but not an image maker creating her own self-image’ and through a desire to rectify this allows herself to become ‘not as sex object, but as willed and erotic subject, commending her own image’ (MacDonald, 2007) through taking control back to the female perspective of the female, not denying a sexual side. (fig.2) Property of Jo Spence – via Tate When considering the image Property of Jo Spence? (fig.2) although the photograph is essentially a nude, there is context behind the need to reveal the breasts, a heavy justification, rather than simply a woman naked. In the image, the eye of the witness is drawn to the writing on her breast, rather than focussing on the naked breast; the nude is de-sexualised. The image is well formed and Spence herself seems collected and strong. Even if not aiding the viewer, the work was of particular use to Spence as she took this image into hospital to accompany her in her surgery. It reveals a strength and determination for the possession and right over her own body. Similarly to this, Spence spoke openly of her feelings about how she was treated in hospital, with regards to losing her identity – feeling that she was ‘reduced to my disease, to the part of my body where it was apparently located’ (Spence, 1986. p.138), it was this and a rather unsympathetic encounter with a doctor that lead to fig.3, a reaction to her hospital visit where a doctor came into the room and without introduction or explanation marked a cross on her breast and left again. This image signifies Spence’s first encounters with her cancer battle; with a simple backdrop, stance and attire, Spence successfully communicates her experience and feelings in this self-portrait. Spence felt secure in the photography world, as it offered her an opportunity to gain a voice that she felt she could not attain within the political or general world. She found that it was an area ‘where I am seen as having some value and sometimes listened to!’ (Spence, 1986. p138), having struggled to express herself and her situation through photography for many years, as well as through her efforts as a political activist. Fig.3 is presumably a reworking of this hospital snapshot, fig.4, which crudely captures the moment. While both images are listed as collaborative, they are taken by different photographers under Spence’s direction and control. Though one may argue that in fig.3, Spence is not concerned for the aesthetics of the image, but the message alone; as seems to be the case with several of her projects – this ethos is called to question when comparing the two images, the second (fig.3) is clearly staged but also becomes somewhat idealised, one would not be criticised for wondering if they were two different people. Larson (2003) addresses Francesca Woodman’s work in the context of narcissism, suggesting that until the popularisation of Woodman’s photographs the concept of the male gaze had become a barrier for feminist critique within photography in general. However, through Woodman’s works there was a new possibility created for discussions on representation and subjectivity in relation to narcissism. An expression that until then had become ‘too loaded – too aligned with feminine vanity’ (Larson, 2003) to be considered in such a way by certain critics. Additionally, that such work aids feminism, as through its alternative ‘set of terms’ it ‘breaks the male gaze stranglehold’ (Larson 2003) which had dominated most works of the female body to date. Nonetheless, the concept of narcissism may be seen as a more influential issue when considering the context of Woodman’s work in relation to her tragic death at twenty-two. Woodman became so obsessed with the notion of recognition and acclaim that she grew more and more depressed and eventually in 1981 (after a failed attempt which resulted in further therapy and further medication) committed suicide. Now, on first inspection, without this context of events, many of Woodman’s photographic works may come across as humorous to the audience. For example, fig.5 she is shown crouched over and covered in what appears to be torn wallpaper. The viewer may question why she has positioned herself in this way, what it may signify, and possibly even find amusement in the fact that this seemingly very random act within the image may have been planned. Consequently, by adding the existing knowledge of her suicide and depression, this image in many ways takes on a new light, one of delicacy and appearance of desperation. The use of added text within the image forces a direct message to the viewer that may not seem to relate to the image in an obvious way, yet the eye is drawn away from the form as a whole to focus on the subject’s hands. The narcissistic feeling lies not just in relation to her photographing herself, but as well, to the obsession she had with her work being recognised and ultimately ending her own life because she felt like it was not possible, and she would rather leave behind what she had already created. Janus (2007) praises Woodman’s self-portraits as both poetic and fascinating through her mastering of photography, she suggests that Woodman as a photographer on equal sides of the lens, produces images that act as blatant reminders that ‘femininity is constructed and the power of the naked, female form to reveal as well as evoke desire’ (Janus, 2007), as well as featuring a mass of phallic imagery within the constructed photographs. There is much talk of the sexuality within Woodman’s images, alluding to her desires as a young woman. As far as evoking desire is concerned, it may be hard to always see Woodman as seeking that sort of attention from her much wanted audience – though through her nude images this is an obvious assumption. Through masking her face in a large number of her works, she offers her body up for consideration without her face as an identifying feature – a body, nameless and available for viewing, inspecting and for the viewer to assign their own meaning to. This can also be seen in the way that Woodman often used a friend as a stand-in figure for herself – implying that her interest lies in the power of the image as a whole to portray her message, rather than to portray herself. As a more contemporary comparison, India Lawton’s Scars project focuses on the destruction of family photographs and self-portraits, through the burning, stabbing, and scratching of physical photographs. The process stems from her mother’s teaching that photographs were something to be treasured, yet she found these images carried too painful a memory of a time that she no longer wished to remember. Through her violent manipulations she shows a total freedom of expression over the images and a therapeutic release. (Lawton, 2014) Lawton lists both Spence and Woodman under her influencing artists, which establishes both of their wishes of recognition, although posthumously. Like Spence, she said she hoped that her work would not only be of benefit to herself, but through it aid others who may be in similar situations, hoping that “people project themselves onto my images…. and through them, can feel the inner strength to take control and try to move on” (Lawton, 2014). Although the issues she deals with are individual to her, the details of them are kept secret and through the images are open to interpretation, rendering them therefore adaptable to a wider audience to relate to. In this way, although the presence of anger or violence is clear the reasoning behind it is not. Somehow, for a total freedom of expression, Lawton’s images still seem quite restrained; they remain almost entirely intact, with seemingly well considered elements removed. It almost seems that the eventual aesthetics were too well considered, above perhaps the process itself. In reference to Spence’s hopes to live on through being mentioned, she not only hoped her work would benefit others for years to come, but also that through helping them, she would continue to be remembered and her voice would live on. In terms of sharing the self-therapy photography works, Spence’s wishes are expressed within The Final Project book (a collection of her works, writings and thoughts, published after her death by her friends) which explains that she hoped that after her death, ‘a contemporary generation of women be enabled to explore and comment on her unpublished work so that her ideas could be kept in the public domain’ (Dennett, 2013. p.9). This indicates that she always intended and hoped for her work to be seen by the public. Did this wish just extend as far as the production of a book Jo Spence: The Final Project which she knew she could trust her friends to finish and publish? It is also important to consider whether this extends as far as to include any negative criticism towards her work – she clearly believed that her projects documenting her working through her own personal issues would be of use to other people (women) and that they were worth discussing, but would she have wished people to challenge her views and methods of working/survival? Surely yes, if such a challenge against her processes may further benefit the future generations of women that she wanted to remember her. Yet, through her writings in Putting Myself in the Picture Spence discusses that in her self-therapy process the main objective and outcome was ‘learning to speak about my conscious and unconscious history has become part of the healing process which I want to share’ (Spence, 1986, p.140). It is unclear however in this instance, whether she refers to the work itself or the process of working that she wished to share. While viewing the works we may instinctively judge her somewhat frumpy honest style or start to question the quality of lighting in each series, before digging deeper into the meanings behind what she has captured. It may be essential to consider not the way the images were formed or presented, but why they were made. In fact, when addressing the general aesthetics of Spence’s photographs, with a particular emphasis on the Phototherapy, Final Project and Narratives of Disease projects, it may be construed as pointless to discuss these within the realms of photography at all. From Spence’s point of view this is evidenced in her statement: ‘when you’re as badly damaged as I am, you just want nice things around you’ (Spence 2005, cited in Lee, 2013, p.11), written in relation to her need for a therapeutic outlet. It is also possible that she was not thinking as a photographer at this time, but as a woman who needed a creative outlet to allow her to not just escape from the crippling depression that her cancer inevitably supplied, but also as a way to sort these major issues in a controlled method in which she was accustom to. It may be better to consider them purely as a bi-product of a method of therapy which resembles the art of photography, rather than solely photographs; for what matters, you could argue, is the process, the acting out and working through. Yet, in making the works public, there is a claim being made that they are worthy of viewing by the public; that they are, if in a gallery, therefore gallery worthy. Ehrlich critiques Spence in his review of her show at the Hayward Gallery, posing ‘Let us not deny Jo Spence her doubts and confusion, but may we ask that she convey them to us in a way that raises them above the level of pure therapy’(Ehrlich,1979. p39). He seems to almost accuse Spence of a selfish or lazy approach to placing her work in the art world, without making it better suited to its eventual environment, ignoring that evidently the work itself may not have functioned as well if it had been produced as ‘high-art’. Though Spence herself, never claimed to be an artist, on the contrary she was forced to defend her work’s presence in the gallery setting. It seems there is a need, in a sense, to make public the private in the context of artists using their medium as a therapeutic means to work through complex issues. To not just create and release a voice in themselves, for themselves, but to broadcast that voice; to be heard by the public or any sort of audience to gain a sort of recognition for their situation and their strength to address it. Spence’s enthusiasm to share her work with other suffering people can be seen as perhaps her greatest flaw, as it contributed to her health decline and eventual death. In some respects, the art overtook the medicine within the process she had created. But it in itself still stands and serves as a memorial to her. Perhaps, the question that ultimately stands is: did an unsupervised enthusiasm and belief in the power of art forms as therapy ultimately help or hinder Spence? According to Dennett (2001), it was indeed her ambition to share her so called therapy with others, which unfortunately lead to her health demise and eventual death in the early 1990s through neglecting her strict regime of medicines to tour with her work around the world. He does not seem to place any blame on the projects themselves, but her decision to tour with them. There is almost a sense of irony in an audience’s appreciation of both sets of work, firstly in the case of Woodman, for acknowledging works that in essence, the maker has killed themselves over their lack of recognition. Secondly, with Spence, to continue praising a so called healing work that became too well thought of as an aid to others that its maker became detrimentally involved in making it accessible to others in need. While Woodman, though not surviving to witness the changes her work allowed in the discussion of photography herself, she is credited with facilitating possibilities of new expression for future generations of young women hoping to express themselves through photography, such as Lawton. Similarly, in terms of treatment, Spence’s phototherapy experiments were never intended to heal her, or to remove her from the dangers of cancer, they were instead designed as a coping mechanism which seemed an affective relief structure from many of the traumatic and depressing side-effects of the disease. As a bi-product of this the works now stand alone in their own right serving as a lasting voice of, and memorial to, Jo Spence; for those who wish to remember her, as she wished to be remembered. And although sharing her theories and practice may have proved unfavourable to her health, she paved a way for new developments and the increased respect and accessibility of therapeutic arts in England, as well as across the world. Bibliography: ARTS COUNCIL (1979) Three perspectives on photography – recent British photography. Arts Council. Case, C. and Dalley, T. (1992) The handbook of art therapy. Routledge. Coxhead, G. (2013). Alexis Hunter and Jo Spence. Modern Painters. Vol.25 No.11. p.120. Dennett. T (2001). The wounded photographer: the genesis of Jo Spence’s camera therapy. Afterimage. Vol.29 No.3. p.26-27. Dennett, T, and Ribalta, J. (2005) Jo Spence: Beyond the Perfect Image. Photography, Subjectivity, Antagonism. Museu d’Art Contemporani de Barcelona. Drykstra, J (1995). Putting herself in the picture: autobiographical images of illness and the body. Afterimage. Vol.23 No.2. p.16. Dunhill, A. (2008) Dialogues with Diagrams: Francesca Woodman’s book, some disordered interior Geometries. [pdf] Rebus. No.2. Available from: http://www.essex.ac.uk/arthistory/research/pdfs/rebus_issue_2/Dunhill.pdf [Accessed 16 August 2010] Ehrlich, R. (1979) Three Perspectives on Photography. Art and Artists F-Stop Magazine (2014) Interview with photographer India Lawton. [online] http://www.fstopmagazine.com/blog/2014/01/interview-with-photographer-india-lawton/ [Accessed 30 October 2014] Grover, J. (1992). The artist and illness. Artpaper. Vol.11 No.5. p11. Janus, E. 2007, Francesca Woodman: some disordered interior geometries. Jo Spence, (nd) Jo Spence [online] http://www.jospence.org.html [Accessed 30 September 2014] Lee, L. (2013) Jo Spence: The Final Project. Ridinghouse, London. Phelan, P. 2002, “Francesca Woodman’s Photography: Death and the Image One More Time”, Signs, vol. 27, no. 4, p. 979-1004. Pryer, A, & The University of Western Ontario, (1997), Tales Of Power: The Healing Narratives Of Judy Chicago And Jo Spence, n.p.: Masters Abstracts International, Art Source, EBSCOhost, viewed 13 October 2014. Robertson, R. (2013) Fighting Against Photograpahy. ARTnews, Summer, p. 72-74. [online] Available from: http://images.dcmooregallery.com/www_dcmooregallery_com/ARTnews_Summer_2013.pdf [Accessed 24 October 2014] Scott, K. (2003). Me, myself and I. British journal of photography. Vol.150 No.7420. p.30. Spence, J. (1986) Putting myself in the picture : a political, personal and photographic autobiography. Camden Pr. Spence, J. (1990) Book in the life of . . . Jo Spence. Creative Camera. No.5. p43-44 Spence, J. (1995) Cultural sniping – the art of transgression. Routledge. Spence, J. and Solomon, J. (1995) What can a woman do with a camera? – photography for women. Scarlet Pr. Studio Voltaire (2012). Jo Spence: Work (Part I & II). [pdf] London: Arts Council. Available from: http://www.studiovoltaire.org/docs/JoSpenceExhibitionGuide(web).pdf [Accessed 10 October 2014]. TEN.8 and Bishton, D. (ed.) (1991) Bodies of excess. Birmingham: Ten.8. (TEN.8, v11 n.1). Townsend, C. 2006, Francesca Woodman, Phaidon, London; New York Wheeler, M. (2009). Phototherapy, a first attempt to consider the use of photographs in therapy. Postgraduate. University of Sheffield. http://www.phototherapy.org.uk/pdf/92phototherapy2009derby.pdf #findingyourvoice #JoSpence #thoughts #arttherapy #dissertation

Part three of my location-based projects: Wembury near Plymouth, Devon. Another new part of Devon that I can’t believe I’ve never been to, but will certainly be revisiting. For this walk I was mainly taking in the beautiful sites, stuffing my face with coffee & fudge and admiring the dog…forgetting that I was on a photography mission, with my camera firmly in my backpack… I did however, remember to take the old girl out as we began the journey back to the truck. I mainly focused on textures and details for this stomp, with collaging in mind rather than complete photos to manipulate. Confession time, I used a setting I’m not used to and they mostly came out blurred! but, we all have bad days. They’re totally still usable… probably? As always, I will eventually, create these tbc works and post them in my shop as cyanotypes, prints, and who knows what else!

A PERSONAL DISCOVERY PROJECT ABOUT TAKING LITTLE STEPS BY (& FOR) YOURSELF Transcending was an experimental project, exploring my own growth, personal journey & decision to return to my hometown. The subject was developed as a personal exercise/challenge with Rebecca (Pioneering Your Life) during one of my coaching sessions, as part of our ongoing work together. In a year where the world seemed to fall apart for everyone, I was still rebuilding after what I thought was the end of the world the year before. I sought solace in my daily walks, in the quiet, tranquil surroundings of South Devon; each day I found new paths within known areas, it became a sort of comfortable risk-taking, learning to trusting and push myself, to safely embrace the mystery and excitement of the unknown… we decided the feeling this gave me needed to be found in other areas of my life where I was feeling trapped or stuck (my artwork & new business). So, I channelled this energy into a digital collage, which would form a big shiny blue & gold cyanotype to hang on my studio wall, as a bold visual statement, a reminder - to explore, experience, and shine. The pieces produced combine the female form with woodland scenes and hand drawn illustrations, some feature 24k gold leaf detailing. This personal project grew into something which I wanted to share. SHOW YOUR WORKINGS Like many Millennials, UK lockdown resulted in me finally downloading & participating in the crazy world of TikTok… and actually, I’m not sorry about it. I started making little videos about my creative process, but this allowed me to feel more comfortable about sharing my workings and process with the world. To the right is one I made for the Transcending process. I had saved jpegs along the way and when I flicked through them, they showed a brilliant journey - again, not an intention to ever share them, but a happy accident that I could. Below, are some of the work-in -progress stills. Enjoy.

Yesterday, for the second of my new series of location-based projects I walked along the coastal path from Anstey’s Cove to Thatcher Point (and back), along the bays of Torquay, Devon. With the pride of my Old Mill Creek trip still strong, I once again gathered up my camera and backpack (and snacks) to head out on a snap-happy adventure. This time, I was more familiar with the area as I had completed the same walk with the same walking buddy (but this time with a dog). I ended up leaving my camera in my backpack until the return journey, but paying attention to all the beauties on the way nonetheless. No collages just yet… but, here are some snaps. As always, I will eventually, create these tbc works and post them in my store.

For the first of my new series of location-based projects I headed to Old Mill Creek, nestled in Dartmouth, Devon. The South Hams has always been close to my heart and holds many fond memories of trips to my Grandmother’s house. Yet, there are so many areas that I have yet to explore and so much beauty to find. A friend suggested Old Mill Creek as he was familiar with the area and knew I would love walking there. After an initial stroll to check the place out, I decided it was somewhere I’d happily fall in love with! The next morning, I gathered my camera and backpack to head out on a snap-happy adventure. Feeling inspired by the objects I had found and photographed on my walk, I instantly opened up Photoshop on my wonky old laptop & spent the afternoon snuggled up in comfy clothes, with copious amounts of coffee, the dog at my feet and music blasting… but here’s the result → The afternoon turned into a bit of a doodle session as I started an incredibly cathartic and enjoyable (somewhat unstoppable) process, very different to my normal work. It felt a little nostalgic of previous projects from my university days, but more refined with a digital input rather than manual. The circular forms were created using a continuous stream of thought, written with a digital pen, overlapping to become a pattern which no longer resembles the words I used. Originally, my intention was to produce digital collages purely for the purpose of creating cyanotypes (the collages being printed as negatives), hence the high contrast black & white. However, the more I worked on them, the more I felt they dazzled in their own right. I was suddenly so proud of my work, and really happy about showing them off to the world. These works will of course, eventually, become cyanotypes too. With both versions available in my store. I am hoping to create similar weekend location based projects regularly over the next few months, so if you have any suggestions of stunning walks that might be of interest, please do let me know by commenting or contacting me directly. Personally, I can’t wait to see what comes of this! PRINTS & CYANOTYPES CURRENTLY FOR SALE: